This is a Shared Inspiration from Maranda Gibson.
Senior year of college brought a lot of changes for me.
Not only was I about to be done with school, but my economic status had changed and the dorm was the only home I had. I was getting a lesson in the “hard things” adults deal with as I was responsible for bill paying and managing my family accounts.
I was lonely and sad, trying hard to do what would make my parents proud, and then I started to get sick.
Almost once a week for the year, I would get awful stomach cramps in the middle of the night and it felt like I was being pumped full of air. It would pass and I would be weak the next day, but I would be okay. It steadily got worse and the attacks would last longer, until I was weak and unable to function.
One night in the summer, my cousin’s husband rushed me to the hospital after an eight hour attack that had my parents (who were on the road on his big rig) beside themselves in worry.
It was my gallbladder and it was removed via routine surgery. I rested for about a week and then went back to school to finish out my summer class and be done with college forever. After it was completed, I packed up and moved to Texas.
Once I got to Texas, I started to feel sick again. Pain was in my lower back, I was running a fever, and it felt like I was being sawed in half at my belly button. I thought I’d pulled something moving or slept wrong the night before.
As it continued over the course of the next few days, the pain got worse, until finally, it was time to go to the ER.
Life Changes
I was admitted almost immediately into the ER. When they were finally able to give me some painkillers, I felt relief for the first time in days but something felt off. They were giving me a CT scan and talking to my mom outside of the room. My mom disappeared for a few minutes and when she came back, she looked like she had been crying.
The ER staff hooked me up to a heart monitor and told me that an ambulance was going to come and get me and transport me over to an ICU at a different hospital.
A surgical team would be on standby to potentially remove parts of my pancreas, liver, small intestines, and stomach. The main supply of blood flow to my internal organs was basically a solid from clots and everything below my belly button was on its last breath, and so was I.
At the ICU, things happened fast.
I remember the nurse who held my hand and sang to me so I wouldn’t cry as they put in a CVC.
I remember signing a do not resuscitate order and asking my doctor if I was going to die.
I remember the look on his face when he said “I’m going to do everything I can to not let that happen”.
I remember telling myself I had to be strong because my mom looked so scared.
It was almost a guarantee I would need surgery to repair the damage to my organs. My survival rate was anywhere between 8 – 20%. That meant that the likelihood I would die was between 92 -100%.
Understanding
You know, death isn’t a concept that a twenty-two year old can really understand and even now I don’t.
I may not have understood death, but I understood life, and mine had just begun. I remember the moment when I decided that I didn’t want to die and that I wasn’t going to allow it.
I’m supposed to get married and have a family. I’m supposed to finish a novel and see my words in print. I don’t give up and I’m not going to start now.
I fought thrombosis with everything I could. I prayed. I held my mom’s hand. I cracked jokes to my father and I started to remind myself what life felt like. As long as I could remember life, I would fight off death.
When I was moved to regular patient care three days later, my doctor was amazed and called me his little miracle. My mom said I was twice her joy, since I had been a miracle baby in the first place.
Somehow, I beat all of the odds. I managed to hit an 8% chance right on the nose. If you ever meet me, you could never tell how serious of a situation it was because it’s like it never happened.
At twenty-two, I learned things that I will never let go of and I want to share them.
Smile as much as you can. Laugh like it’s the last time you’ll ever hear something funny. I will never take for granted the way cold air feels burning into your lungs on a winter morning or how refreshing it is to jump into a pool when it’s 110 degrees outside.
I may be young – but let me tell you something that I’ve learned. Live every single day and smile while you do it. Try something new and hate it. Try something different and love it.
You have the ability to control if you accept something or not. You have the ability to decide if today you will fight, or if tomorrow you will give up.
Don’t ever give up. Life is nothing when it isn’t lived to its fullest.
About Maranda: Maranda is the head writer at AccuConference, a telecommunications company in Fort Worth, Texas. She has a soft spot for kittens, puppies, and baseball. She’s about halfway through finishing that novel.
Don’t Ever Give Up originally appeared on Danny Brown - - all rights reserved.
